"Rich and Toni" by A. Craig Newman © 2012
Writer's Notes:
When I decided to write about this pairing, I found Rich's point of view very easy to adopt. Toni was based on the sister of a good friend of mine with whom I had a camaraderie very similar to Rich and Toni's. No, nothing physical happened. She was just a good friend who I picked on. -ACN
When I decided to write about this pairing, I found Rich's point of view very easy to adopt. Toni was based on the sister of a good friend of mine with whom I had a camaraderie very similar to Rich and Toni's. No, nothing physical happened. She was just a good friend who I picked on. -ACN
Toni hid her disappointment from mostly everyone at the table. Rich was the only real reason she even considered coming to dinner with her sister's coworkers. Since Toni was typically quiet and shy, no one noticed much of a change in her demeanor. No one, but her sister, Marie.
"Lighten up. He'll be here soon, I'm sure," Marie whispered from her booth seat.
"I know," Toni replied, unconvincingly nonchalant.
Across from Toni and Marie sat Jen and Gene, Marie's coworkers and the first openly lesbian committed couple Toni ever knew. Gene's unusually masculine features were accentuated by her close cropped hairstyle and the 50's swing kid outfit she sported. Jen's poodle skirt and saddle shoes showed that this couple was ready for action when the music started. For now, three of the ladies sat and gabbed about work, a topic which did not interest Toni at all. She paid little attention to them until she heard Rich's name mentioned.
"What did you say about Rich?" She piped up, zeroing in after zoning out.
Jen answered, "Just be careful. He's been in rare form lately, and you know you're one of his favorite targets."
"What kind of 'rare form?'"
"Well, Rich tends to go through cycles," Gene replied.
"Yeah, like two weeks ago, he was Mad, Sad, Angry-At-The-World Rich," Marie added. "That was the one that locked out his entire class when they returned late from a break. He taught a lesson to empty chairs, and then wouldn't review it when he finally opened the door."
"But this week, it's Happy, Cheerful, Ain't-Life-Grand Rich." Jen continued. "This one sings in class, uses peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to demonstrate programming concepts, and challenges students to arm wrestling matches. Don't be surprised if the lights dim or you feel tired when he walks in. That's just him sucking energy out of everyone and everything around him."
When the lights suddenly dimmed, Toni almost expected Rich to appear with a puff of smoke and a grand flourish. Instead, the swing music started. In an instant, Gene and Jen ran out to the dance floor.
When they were alone, Marie asked, "What is it you like about Rich so much?"
Toni shrugged. "I dunno. He's just fun, I guess."
Marie emphatically shook her head. "No, you've known 'fun guys' before. There's something different here. You need to stop playing with this guy and just go after him."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean get him alone somewhere and just make a play for him. Tell him you like him. Give him a kiss or something."
Just then, Rich announced his arrival by diving into the empty side of the booth. Startled, Toni and Marie jumped and yelped.
"Who's kissing who, now?" were his first words, forgoing the usual greetings.
"Toni!" Marie blurted out before her sister could protest in any way. "She's got a crush!"
Rich looked at Toni with exaggerated surprise. "Mouse!" he gasped, calling Toni by the nickname only he used for her. "You got a crush? Who is he? Am I going to have to kick his ass for your affections?"
Toni blushed a rose red. "No-"
"No, I'm not gonna have to kick his ass because I already have your affection?"
"No-"
"No, I don't have your affection? What, are you too good for me?"
"NO-"
"No, you're not too good for me, I'm just too lowly for you to date? Is this other guy filling your head with that?"
"No!"
"No, it's not another guy? Is it a girl? Are you gay too now? Jeez, everyone is switching teams nowadays!"
"STOP IT!" Toni managed to turn redder between the embarrassing course Rich's idiotic questions took and laughing at his frantic behavior. "Jesus, you've only been here a minute and you're already picking on me! Now, stop before I kick your ass!" Toni yelled with uncharacteristic emotion.
"I love it when you roar, Mouse. Tell me again how you're gonna kick my ass."
Marie came to her sister's rescue with a simple, "You're a dumbass, Rich."
The waitress came by, Rich ordered a gin and tonic, and the "post-Rich's arrival" fun started. The four ladies have gone out many times together and have always had plenty of fun. But Rich always seemed to bring something extra to make the night all the more enjoyable. This time, it was his seemingly endless well of energy. Soon after arriving and guzzling his first drink, he swept Toni out to the dance floor for a couple jives. After 15 minutes, the music switched to a Latin beat and she desperately needed a break. Rich escorted her back to the table, took the time to down another gin drink and soon was back out dancing with Marie. For close to an hour, he followed this cycle, pausing only to drink more and switch partners. When he finally came back to the table to rest and "let his buzz settle," he found himself sitting alone with Toni.
"Where is everyone?" he asked.
"Dancing, I think."
He nodded, bopped his head to the music, and fanned himself with his shirt. They sat in silence for a bit while she drank and he cooled off. "So, tell me about your crush, Mouse," he said suddenly.
Toni almost choked trying to drink her soda, but she managed to regain her composure and avoid a spit-take. "There's nothing to tell."
"Ah. Being coy, I see. But there is someone, isn't there?"
Mouse smiled and blushed again. "Yeah, there's someone I like."
"Is he a good guy? Is he a guy, even?"
"Rich!" she said in a "don't be silly" tone.
"Hey, nowadays, you can't be so sure until you check. You might be straight but she might not be."
Toni rolled her eyes. "Well, as far as I know he's a he and, yes, he's a good guy."
"Good. You deserve a good guy. A woman as beautiful as you shouldn't be with some jerk."
Before she could reply, Gene and Jen came back. Jen stopped to rest.
"Wanna dance?" Gene asked Rich.
"Actually," Toni blurted out, "he owes me a dance. Don't you, Rich?"
"Um…ok," he replied and took Toni's hand and led her to the dance floor.
"Sorry to steal you from Gene," she said when they started their number. "Marie and I might be leaving soon and I wanted to get one more dance in."
"I don't mind. Gene always tried to lead."
Toni danced the rest of one song and all of another before stopping. "Help me with the coats," she said, gesturing towards the coat room.
Rich nodded and walked behind her as they moved through the crowd. In the coat room, Rich noticed the majority of the hangers were empty, although the club was almost packed by this point in the night.
"I thought it was a warm night," he mumbled to himself. He turned around in time to see Toni close the door and lock it. She stayed facing the door, but even from behind, he could tell she was shaking. "Are you ok? What's wrong?" he asked.
"You always tell me I'm beautiful. No one else does."
He approached her. "You're kidding. What about your family?"
"They don't count and you know it," she said in a half-laugh.
"Boyfriends?"
She turned slowly. "Never really had any. The few 'almost boyfriends'…." She let the thought trail off and just shook her head.
"Well, they're idiots if they didn't see it or didn't think to tell you."
Toni leaned back against the door and looked at Rich. "Tell me again."
He responded without hesitation. "You're beautiful."
"Make me believe it. Make me feel it."
A look of confusion barely had time to darken Rich's brow before Toni had covered the space between them. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him, turning anything he tried to say into a muffled mumble. At first, they stumbled deeper into the closet. But, as Rich reciprocated the kiss more, he pinned her against the door with his body. With one hand, she reached for the light switch and the other found his zipper.
"Say it again," she whispered.
"You're beauti-" The rest was blended into a gasp when she slipped her hand into his trousers.
"Make me feel it," she moaned as she hiked up her skirt.
There, against the coat check door, her skirt around her waist and her legs around Rich, Toni felt beautiful and desirable for the first time in her young life. They kissed to muffle each other's moans and simply ignored the noise from the outside, even when people started knocking and asking the manager why the coatroom was closed with their jackets inside.
Back at the table, Gene, Jen, and Marie were starting to wonder what became of the other two. Eventually, the missing couple walked over and sat down.
"Where did you two go off to?" Gene asked as soon as they surfaced.
"Nowhere," Toni replied with a contented smile.
"Nowhere, huh?" Jen picked up the line of questioning. "Where did you go, Rich?"
Rich was staring off into space until he heard his name. "What?"
"What?" parroted Marie. "She goes nowhere and you go to what?"
"What?" he slowly turned his attention to the new inquisitor.
Jen and Gene looked at each other and laughed. Mouth agape, Marie stared at Jen who takes a sip out of her drink and said, "Thanks for the advice."
"Lighten up. He'll be here soon, I'm sure," Marie whispered from her booth seat.
"I know," Toni replied, unconvincingly nonchalant.
Across from Toni and Marie sat Jen and Gene, Marie's coworkers and the first openly lesbian committed couple Toni ever knew. Gene's unusually masculine features were accentuated by her close cropped hairstyle and the 50's swing kid outfit she sported. Jen's poodle skirt and saddle shoes showed that this couple was ready for action when the music started. For now, three of the ladies sat and gabbed about work, a topic which did not interest Toni at all. She paid little attention to them until she heard Rich's name mentioned.
"What did you say about Rich?" She piped up, zeroing in after zoning out.
Jen answered, "Just be careful. He's been in rare form lately, and you know you're one of his favorite targets."
"What kind of 'rare form?'"
"Well, Rich tends to go through cycles," Gene replied.
"Yeah, like two weeks ago, he was Mad, Sad, Angry-At-The-World Rich," Marie added. "That was the one that locked out his entire class when they returned late from a break. He taught a lesson to empty chairs, and then wouldn't review it when he finally opened the door."
"But this week, it's Happy, Cheerful, Ain't-Life-Grand Rich." Jen continued. "This one sings in class, uses peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to demonstrate programming concepts, and challenges students to arm wrestling matches. Don't be surprised if the lights dim or you feel tired when he walks in. That's just him sucking energy out of everyone and everything around him."
When the lights suddenly dimmed, Toni almost expected Rich to appear with a puff of smoke and a grand flourish. Instead, the swing music started. In an instant, Gene and Jen ran out to the dance floor.
When they were alone, Marie asked, "What is it you like about Rich so much?"
Toni shrugged. "I dunno. He's just fun, I guess."
Marie emphatically shook her head. "No, you've known 'fun guys' before. There's something different here. You need to stop playing with this guy and just go after him."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean get him alone somewhere and just make a play for him. Tell him you like him. Give him a kiss or something."
Just then, Rich announced his arrival by diving into the empty side of the booth. Startled, Toni and Marie jumped and yelped.
"Who's kissing who, now?" were his first words, forgoing the usual greetings.
"Toni!" Marie blurted out before her sister could protest in any way. "She's got a crush!"
Rich looked at Toni with exaggerated surprise. "Mouse!" he gasped, calling Toni by the nickname only he used for her. "You got a crush? Who is he? Am I going to have to kick his ass for your affections?"
Toni blushed a rose red. "No-"
"No, I'm not gonna have to kick his ass because I already have your affection?"
"No-"
"No, I don't have your affection? What, are you too good for me?"
"NO-"
"No, you're not too good for me, I'm just too lowly for you to date? Is this other guy filling your head with that?"
"No!"
"No, it's not another guy? Is it a girl? Are you gay too now? Jeez, everyone is switching teams nowadays!"
"STOP IT!" Toni managed to turn redder between the embarrassing course Rich's idiotic questions took and laughing at his frantic behavior. "Jesus, you've only been here a minute and you're already picking on me! Now, stop before I kick your ass!" Toni yelled with uncharacteristic emotion.
"I love it when you roar, Mouse. Tell me again how you're gonna kick my ass."
Marie came to her sister's rescue with a simple, "You're a dumbass, Rich."
The waitress came by, Rich ordered a gin and tonic, and the "post-Rich's arrival" fun started. The four ladies have gone out many times together and have always had plenty of fun. But Rich always seemed to bring something extra to make the night all the more enjoyable. This time, it was his seemingly endless well of energy. Soon after arriving and guzzling his first drink, he swept Toni out to the dance floor for a couple jives. After 15 minutes, the music switched to a Latin beat and she desperately needed a break. Rich escorted her back to the table, took the time to down another gin drink and soon was back out dancing with Marie. For close to an hour, he followed this cycle, pausing only to drink more and switch partners. When he finally came back to the table to rest and "let his buzz settle," he found himself sitting alone with Toni.
"Where is everyone?" he asked.
"Dancing, I think."
He nodded, bopped his head to the music, and fanned himself with his shirt. They sat in silence for a bit while she drank and he cooled off. "So, tell me about your crush, Mouse," he said suddenly.
Toni almost choked trying to drink her soda, but she managed to regain her composure and avoid a spit-take. "There's nothing to tell."
"Ah. Being coy, I see. But there is someone, isn't there?"
Mouse smiled and blushed again. "Yeah, there's someone I like."
"Is he a good guy? Is he a guy, even?"
"Rich!" she said in a "don't be silly" tone.
"Hey, nowadays, you can't be so sure until you check. You might be straight but she might not be."
Toni rolled her eyes. "Well, as far as I know he's a he and, yes, he's a good guy."
"Good. You deserve a good guy. A woman as beautiful as you shouldn't be with some jerk."
Before she could reply, Gene and Jen came back. Jen stopped to rest.
"Wanna dance?" Gene asked Rich.
"Actually," Toni blurted out, "he owes me a dance. Don't you, Rich?"
"Um…ok," he replied and took Toni's hand and led her to the dance floor.
"Sorry to steal you from Gene," she said when they started their number. "Marie and I might be leaving soon and I wanted to get one more dance in."
"I don't mind. Gene always tried to lead."
Toni danced the rest of one song and all of another before stopping. "Help me with the coats," she said, gesturing towards the coat room.
Rich nodded and walked behind her as they moved through the crowd. In the coat room, Rich noticed the majority of the hangers were empty, although the club was almost packed by this point in the night.
"I thought it was a warm night," he mumbled to himself. He turned around in time to see Toni close the door and lock it. She stayed facing the door, but even from behind, he could tell she was shaking. "Are you ok? What's wrong?" he asked.
"You always tell me I'm beautiful. No one else does."
He approached her. "You're kidding. What about your family?"
"They don't count and you know it," she said in a half-laugh.
"Boyfriends?"
She turned slowly. "Never really had any. The few 'almost boyfriends'…." She let the thought trail off and just shook her head.
"Well, they're idiots if they didn't see it or didn't think to tell you."
Toni leaned back against the door and looked at Rich. "Tell me again."
He responded without hesitation. "You're beautiful."
"Make me believe it. Make me feel it."
A look of confusion barely had time to darken Rich's brow before Toni had covered the space between them. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him, turning anything he tried to say into a muffled mumble. At first, they stumbled deeper into the closet. But, as Rich reciprocated the kiss more, he pinned her against the door with his body. With one hand, she reached for the light switch and the other found his zipper.
"Say it again," she whispered.
"You're beauti-" The rest was blended into a gasp when she slipped her hand into his trousers.
"Make me feel it," she moaned as she hiked up her skirt.
There, against the coat check door, her skirt around her waist and her legs around Rich, Toni felt beautiful and desirable for the first time in her young life. They kissed to muffle each other's moans and simply ignored the noise from the outside, even when people started knocking and asking the manager why the coatroom was closed with their jackets inside.
Back at the table, Gene, Jen, and Marie were starting to wonder what became of the other two. Eventually, the missing couple walked over and sat down.
"Where did you two go off to?" Gene asked as soon as they surfaced.
"Nowhere," Toni replied with a contented smile.
"Nowhere, huh?" Jen picked up the line of questioning. "Where did you go, Rich?"
Rich was staring off into space until he heard his name. "What?"
"What?" parroted Marie. "She goes nowhere and you go to what?"
"What?" he slowly turned his attention to the new inquisitor.
Jen and Gene looked at each other and laughed. Mouth agape, Marie stared at Jen who takes a sip out of her drink and said, "Thanks for the advice."
