I saw a video online that reminded me of my son.
My son is 4 years old and has been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. In short, he shows some of the signs of autism, but to a lesser degree than many, more severe patients. He's in a great preschool program now and he's showing great signs of improvement. When he's ready for kindergarten, he should be main-streamed.
His improvement makes me happy. I look forward to a day when I can read him something I wrote as a bedtime story. Of course, it'll be something with a lot less blood and guts as my usual gore-fest, but I want to read my work to him, even if I have to explore an unfamiliar genre. When he's older, I want him to want to read Daddy's novels. I want his feedback on if it was good or bad and what he thinks would make it better. When he's a man, I want him to want to read Dad's work to his kids. Most of all, I want him to be proud of Daddy. I want him to look to me with the same love, awe, and respect I looked through when I was a boy looking at my Daddy.
I get inspiration for different stories from different places and at different times. As writers, we should always keep our eyes open for the next idea that might take hold of our imagination. But Sam is the reason I write at all nowadays. I feel that success as a writer will make him most proud of me. When I look at my current stories, I wonder, "What will Sam think when he reads this?"
Sam, when you read all this one day, I want you to know that Daddy loves you very much. You are my inspiration to be the best writer - to be the best man - I can be. You've given me the gift every writer needs to succeed: motivation! You make me want to write. I hope you're proud of what Daddy does.
Give your father a call. I'm sure he misses you.
I'm horrible at keeping journals, but I feel like I need a new project. The best challenge I can face is to write: it's something I do well, but haven't yet mastered. Then again, I don't know that it is possible to totally master an art. I think of how professional athletes - people who have been playing their sport for years - always have coaches. I wonder what a coach can do to improve an athlete who get millions of dollars a year to play. What could it be that they don't know? Not that I'm anywhere close to the skill level of a professional writer! There will always be flaws, right? But, perfection isn't my goal or desire. In some areas, fighting the fight is more important than winning it and often taking the journey is greater than reaching the destination.
So, I've decided to take this journey again. I love to write and yet I often go weeks and months without doing it. I'm hoping that if I put my journey on public display, maybe I'll watch it evolve, too, and be more dedicated to helping it grow. Feel free to contact me to help keep me focused. With the support of my friends and family (and maybe "fans" should I ever get any), I'll one day be a professional writer getting millions of dollars a year to play with stories.
If that happens, I'll have to remember to hire a coach.